I thought you'd all enjoy seeing what Kevin looks like.
He's still stuck up at UMDNJ, and I am completely and utterly falling apart. I'm trying to play strong for him, but it's not working out so well. I lost another baby. It's
killing me. I've never felt the urge to cut as much as I do right at this moment. Hell, I've never felt the urge to kill my self so strongly before. I could do it too. The Razors from the night that he hurt himself in the beginning of the month are still sitting in the center consul of my truck. Just make sure it's deep enough on the first stroke. I could bleed out fairly easily... But... I made him a promise. I told him I wouldn't fall apart until he got out and he could take care of me. But he was supposed to be out on Tuesday. It's 1:23 am on Thursday and he's still there. Still so fucking far away. I just need his help right now. I need him to come home. My health isn't 100% and neither is my mental health. I feel like I'm very slowly falling to pieces on the floor. I need him to hold me and kiss me and yes, I even need to feel him inside of me. Even if it is TMI. I love him. Truly, completely, utterly. I look into his eyes and I get lost in their depths. There's a lot of hurt and sadness in those eyes. They make my heart melt.
I finally called up t-mobile to get them to send me a new phone now that mine has become all wonky. I should get that shortly. And the best part is that they aren't charging me to replace the faulty one. Thank god.
Have I mentioned gas is getting expensive again? $2.23 per gallon is not easy when you drive a ford explorer and are running back and forth daily to the hospital to see your fiance.
I'm so physically and mentally exhausted.
I've been listening to this taylor swift song that I think is absolutely infectious.
