It's taken me a while to figure out how this post would go; and work has helped by keeping me extremely busy. They moved him from the county jail into, kind of a halfway place, without giving him notice, without telling his lawyer, they just moved him. Which, by the way, New Jersey, really, really pissed everyone off. They gave him his sentencing. They gave him the maximum time that they could possibly do. Two years and three days. Those words are still echoing in my head and every time they bounce around, my heart hurts a little more, my eyes well up a little. But there is a tiny bit of hope, that is, if my lovely boyfriend can keep himself out of trouble, he is eligible for parole in October of this year. Hopefully. But then again, I've been wrong about everything else so far.
I don't think that I can make it two years. And for those of you thinking that it is because I don't love him enough, that's not true. I have put up with far more then any other person could begin to imagine. Why? Because I love this boy. I know the label on him, and I know people will forever think that he is scum, but I don't. I know the true measure of this man, his kindness, his devotion, his love.
He doesn't want me to leave him. He says he needs me, and I know that to be more then true. The only people that care about him are his grandmother and I. His father doesn't even realize that he's in jail, his mother won't accept his calls. But can I really wait two years in pain from being away from someone that I love so desperately?
This is all I've seen of my other half in over two weeks now. It breaks my heart knowing how sad he is in this picture and that I can't do anything to help him. I just wish I could hug him and let him know everything will be alright.
