As I sit here thinking, at 1:15 am no less, all I can think about is how things are unraveling at the seams. I love Kevin. That's the only thing I'm sure about anymore. The one and only thing. I promised him I wouldn't kill myself. I didn't promise him that I wouldn't hurt myself. As I drove home from the movies tonight all I could think about was those razors. I know the smart thing to do would be to throw them out, but I can't bring myself to do it. I do realize that if something doesn't change soon I am going to take the razors and cut. I mean, today has been a relatively good day. My fiance comes home on Monday. I get to start sleeping next to him again. I get to hug and kiss and touch him all I want. But then I went to go see Up. And for a supposed funny kids movie, it was a very very depressing story.
I need the help and support of loved ones. I need Kevin soon, because I know that the cutting is going to happen. Probably much sooner then even I realize.
Have I mentioned I really do love my fiance?
