Is This How It Feels To Have A Broken Heart?

I can't do this.

Right now, I am so ready to just cry and let it all out. I mean, I don't even really know what's going on and why he hasn't tried calling. But... I just want to scream and cry and curl up in a fetal position. My heart feels like it's being torn into pieces. I have never experienced heart break this bad before, not even with Joey. I feel like I won't survive until the end of this. It just hurts that bad.

I talked to him on Thursday. I was driving to go get Hibachi with Chrissy. He tried calling all day Friday, but it was while I was working and I couldn't answer the phone. Saturday, nothing. Sunday, Nothing. I've called his grandmother and she's as worried as I am. Why Hasn't He Called Me?

It's not like I can call him back. It's not like I can talk to him anytime I want to. I cherish the 15 minute phone calls. I look forward to them as much as I look forward to the 20 minute video visits. Oh god, this hurts so much. I've gone through so much for him and he hasn't called me. Is he mad? Does he hurt as much as I do? Does it feel like someone is in his chest tearing his heart to shreds?

Is this how it feels to have a broken heart?